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Help your Caregiving Friends.
Jim carrying the tree to our vehicle at the tree farm. Dec. 2006. It’s that time again. You either love it or hate it. Few and far between are the ones with no opinion. The Christmas season brings back...
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Three, two, one….breakdown.
Our family Christmas Eve, 2009. I knew this day was coming. I knew I would have a day that included tears and sobbing and full body blowbacks. It happens now on a semi-regular basis and it has been a...
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Happy What?
Ice Skating, Dec. 2014. There have been so many wonderful things that have happened in my life over the past month. But there have been so many horrible, ugly things too. I feel as if my life is one...
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Please fix that chick you see in the mirror….
This is such an amazingly good photo of Jim now. I love it. Dec. 2014. I am searching. For me. For a way to survive. For a way to thrive. For a way to find myself in the midst of sorrow and angst. I am...
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Trapped Alive
Sometimes when I write this blog, I have to censor myself. I don’t do it to protect myself, but to protect my kids, my family, or Jim. Sometimes it is because the reality of this disease is so harsh,...
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I love my kids
Frances and Brad, Sept. 2006 I am like 99.9% of the parents in this world….I LOVE my kids. I love watching them play sports and participate in school activities and I love hanging out with them (most...
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Doctor Day Sucks!
Jim and I. Dec 2014. Today was DOCTOR DAY. I think in general we usually look forward to going to the doctor, even subconsciously, to get healed. Healed from whatever is ailing us. Healed from...
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Tentacles
Jim has tentacles in me. Every part of my being.They are wrapped around my mind, woven throughout my body and engrained in my soul. His warm, soft tentacles encircled my heart and as they balance it...
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Battles Within
Enjoying Chincoteague Island and thankful for The Refuge Inn! Mother’s Day 2015. It has been time for a new post for quite a while and I have written many in my mind. But sitting down to express my...
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Survival of the Fittest
Jim, Frances and Brad enjoying skipping stones on the Maury River in Virginia. June 2015. It has been 6 long years since we first started figuring out something was “wrong” with Jim. To some, this will...
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There is a Solution, I just haven’t found it yet
I am exhausted. Mentally more than physically. The paperwork. The worry. The constant watch. The pure, unadulterated sadness. It is beyond overwhelming, it has changed my thought process, my soul and...
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A world without Jim?
Visiting Monticello,July 2015. Please, please, make all of this go away. The pain. The worry. The decisions. The agony of watching Jim slide away as we try to cling to him. As he tries to cling to...
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What do YOU really think?
How many drive the car they drive to impress others? Or wear certain clothes to attract attention? Or cut their hair just to entice a mate? Who in this world bases each action or decision on the...
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Alone
Frances, me and Brad getting ready to leave family camp. Aug 2015. In the middle of the night I reached out, my legs stretching to a cooler feel of sheets only to find an empty bed. An empty space that...
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Nap Time
I have nothing. Nothing to say. Nothing to feel. Nothing to do. I am numb. I am going through motions and I am doing the obligatory foot in front of another, but the reality is I am dazed, confused and...
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Phantom Lover
I’m in love with a man who cannot love me back. I think of him all day, every day of every week of every month. From my first moments lying in bed in the morning until my last tired thoughts trying to...
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And the Grief Goes On
Visiting Jim at his new home. October 2015. There is a time in everyone’s life where you learn who you are and transform into the person you were always meant to be. Welcome to my time. I am...
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